My wife broke her 5th metatarsal on Saturday night. On Monday when the swelling still hadn't gone down, I took her to the ER. The doctors said that my spitting and rubbing dirt on it did nothing to help heal her foot. They said that my demands that she walk it off were ill founded as well. She will be getting it casted tomorrow and will be out of work for what looks to be a month and a half. "Temporary disability insurance, why would we want/need that. Oh crap!"
They should have just cut it off and made her a cyborg. Robocop was up and fighting crime the next day. You can't tell me that he had some kind of mutant healing factor or those bullets wouldn't have hurt him so bad.
It is her right foot, so she can't drive, which means I am. I have to do all the things I normally do plus drive her to appointments. I thought about making her drive with her left foot but she just barely can do so with her right. I guess she could have my 6 y/o work the pedals. She can't really get up and down the stairs, which means I am carrying her or going to get any little thing that needs to be gotten. This turns out to be multiple things and I end up making multiple trips.
My wife usually works evenings, which is great because we don't have to pay for daycare and I can do/watch whatever I want. I can also rule my children with an iron fist without them running to their mother. This is gone now. I can feel the coupe de ta coming in which my rule as dictator is over. I can see complaints coming about my watching TV, what I am watching on TV, or what I am reading.
I am being punished! Yes me, not her. The proof, her foot doesn't hurt unless one of the kids jumps on it or she puts weight on it. They gave her pain meds anyway. She gets to have a pain free, limited activity(work), sit on the couch 6 weeks off. I on the other hand have to go to work, get the kids out of bed, act as a chauffuer, act as transportation/teleportation up and down stairs, go shopping, and not relax. Yes, I am the one being punished. What did I do wrong? My kingdom is crumbling.
8 comments:
This is awesome... Karma's a bitch, Budd.
Steve is right karma's made you her bitch. As for what you did wrong, spitting on the wife's foot, rubbing dirt in it, and trying to make her walk it off comes to mind.Oh you might want remeber that Robocop was DEAD when they made him a cyborg. Life sucks wear a helmet.
guess you had it coming. just be glad your wife didn't ask for a machine gun leg.
dude, i was JUST about to say how cool it would be if she got a machine gun for a leg a la grindhouse! hehe.
hahahaha, grrrace, i love the way you think!
I would be so dead!
i'll bet you behave perfectly after that machine gun gets grafted onto your wife's leg! hehe...
i know what you did wrong. you complained about korean food, especially kim and kimchee.
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