I found this and thought that is was a really interesting take on the subject.
http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html
My wife keeps telling my daughter that she has to be really smart so she can be popular in high school and I keep telling her that doesn't happen in the U.S. She disagrees. I mean I am sure it happens in a very few schools, but not a vast majority and almost never in a public school.
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I once overheard my sister-in-law (who is a very pragmatic, sensible woman) say to my niece, "S***i, work on being smart. If you are smart, you can buy some pretty and you might even be able to buy some popular so just work on being really, really smart." Okay ... So perhaps it is a bit unconventional, but I had to admit that it wasn't completely off base either ...
I wanted to be liked and have friends, but I don't think I wanted to be popular. For one, I didn't really like most of the popular kids, they just didn't seem interesting to me. But, I think your sister-in-law is right. If you are smart and successful, you can buy the other stuff later.
My wife also talks about how you have to be pretty to be successful.
Next she is going to start talking about how you can only be successful if you go to college in Seoul.
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