Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I Have a Confession

"Inspired by Arnold Schwarzanagger, I have a confession to make.  I to have had an eleven year relationship with the person that cleans my house.  The relationship has resulted in two children.  I have supported these children all of their lives and also supported their mother." 

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Not if I see you first!

I was talking to someone the other day and when I left they said they would see me later.  I almost commented with, “Not if I see you first.”  For the first time in my life, I stopped and really considered what that phrase implies. 
This is not a phrase that you would return to a friend.  Not if I see you first implies that the person will not see you if you see them first.  At best, you are hiding from them, at worst, you plan on offing them.  So maybe reserve this one for your enemies and do the little hand motion gun firing thing when you say it.  Then you can laugh and say that you WILL see them first. 
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