Friday, June 16, 2006

Towels


Men and women are different, and towels are a perfect example of this difference.  I hang my towel on the hook right outside of the shower when I am done.  I put it there after I use it so it will be dry and available after my next shower.  Some mornings I turn off the water and it is not there.  The towel fairy (my wife) has come and stolen it away.  When this happens I am forced with three options. 

The first is to shake off like a dog.  This method will give you a headache and isn't nearly as productive for humans as it is for dogs.  I would not recommend it. 

The second option is to yell at the towel fairy to bring me a towel.  Depending on mood or state of consciousness, this could result in death and is not recommended.

The third option is to make a run for it.  This gets water everywhere.  A man's inadequate cleaning skills makes it impossible for him to clean up all the water before what he has done is noticed.  Evidence of the run and/or being caught in the act could also result in death and is not recommended. 

I have told my wife not to remove the towel, and she tells me to check for one before I get in.  I tell her I checked for it by putting it there the previous morning.  She says that is using a dirty towel. 

What!?!, how is that using a dirty towel.  The cleanest moment of the day is when I step forth from the shower.  I am drying clean water off of my clean body with that towel.  Where in this equation is the towel getting dirty.  It is almost like that argument in Pulp Fiction.  I realize that the towel probably needs to be washed when it gets hard to bend, but it is all good up to that point. 

Why must the Towel Fairy force me to torment her by taking my towel?

3 comments:

mllnclly79 said...

poor, poor, budd. even though i am a woman, i agree with you. the towel is not dirty, it is clean because you are clean. you can continue to use the same towel for up 2 two weeks. i have. i stop using the towel when it gets crunchy or has the moldy, funky smell. i guess i'm not typical.

smack the towel fairy and leave a large clear puddle in the floor which requires 2 towels to clean up. that will break her towel stealing habit.

J. Stone said...

Awesome observation and analysis. My wife has a "static" towel that she places right next to the shower. It is not to be touched under any circumstance. Like much of the Army in Garrison, just for show. Don't know how many times I put that towel, to the crease, the exact way I found it.
Well Written, looking forward to your next.
j

Jody said...

NO! Towels can be used for up to, but no longer than, 5 days-- and that's a liberal estimation. Some people in my family use a new towel every day. While I don't think this is necessary, I give my towel a quick sniff after 3 days and if it "passes" then I'll use it. Otherwise you smell like a gross towel all day long.