It was this year

I have been waiting for it to happen.  Every year for the last 4 years I have awaited this moment on this day.  I knew it would happen someday and this year it did. 

Ashli came to me and said, “I hate this.”  She was filling out Valentine’s Day cards.  I asked what was going on and she said that she was having a hard time picking which cards to give to which boys.  Not because she liked them, but because she didn’t.  She wanted to make sure that the boys wouldn’t think she liked them based of her Valentines. 

I remember the same thing going through my mind when I was a kid.  There was also the anxiety over which one to give to the girl you really liked so that she might intuit that you liked her and wanted her to be your Valentine for real.  Boys have the added disadvantage of having to give cards to other boys.  As there are usually 5 out of the pack of 20 that say something like “You are super!”  All the rest always had cutesy Valentine’s phrases.  So unless you were in a classroom with only 5 boys, there were going to be boys that got a “Be mine, Valentine” from you. 

Odd thing, after I got my cards, I never really looked to see what the boys or girls cards said that I didn’t like.  I only had eyes for the one from the girl(s) that I had crushes on.  Those little slips of folded paper never revealed any romance, but it didn’t stop me from worrying about it every year.  Glad to see my neurosis was passed down. 

I (Heart) You

Growing up, Valentine's Day was a great source of anxiety for me.  I would go to K-Mart and pick up my themed Valentine's cards and go home to stress.  You see, all of the cards used to say "I Love You," "Be Mine," or some other sugar coated greeting that was not appropriate for boys to send to boys.  They were also embarrassing to send to girls you didn't like.

I can remember sitting there contemplating the after effects of each Valentine to each person.  I can't send a love one to guys, girls I really like (they might find out), or girls I didn't like (they might get the wrong idea).  So, out of the box of 48, 40 of the valentines were love related and the other 8 said "your are cool," "glad we are friends," or some other under used phrase.  Of the lovie dovie cards there were two types.  The first type was the "I heart you" card that can only really be given to a girlfriend.  The second type was the watered down card that said "you are sweet" or other confectionary themed phrases.  These were divided 20/20.  Eventually, I would just break down and send the girls I liked the Be Mine cards, the girls I didn't like got the you are sweet ones, the guys that were my friends got the your so cools and the guys that were not my friends wouldn't really get one from me. 

Then came the stress of opening the cards and reading the messages.  Does this "Be my Valentine" card really ask the question or was she out of friend cards?  Why did Steve give me a "Be Mine" card?  Stay away Steve!  Julie is really cute and I got the "You are cool" card from her.  Does she think I am cool in a good way or in a friends way.  I probably put way too much thought into it. 

Last night, while doing my daughter's Valentine's Day cards, I noticed a lot more friend cards and almost an absense of love cards.  My daughter based her picks on who got what card by what picture they might like and not the phrase.  Maybe I am just a freak and think about this stuff too much, maybe my kindergartner is too young to start worrying about the messages that the cards are send, and maybe card makers are making it easier on us to give out cards.

 

 

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