Friday, March 09, 2012

An Open Note to Robert Ebert

Hey Rob,
 
Read your review on John Carter today.  Love that you critiqued the character design as it was pretty much dictated in the books what all the characters would look like.  What is that?  You don’t read books?  Oh, sorry.  I guess as a fan of “Wolverine,” I just don’t understand reviewing movies based on an actual book.  Never mind not knowing what Kitsch means (I do).  I get it.  The kid was in Wolverine and that movie was pretty bad, but why are you insulting comic book fans?  Are we easy targets?  I bet all you and your ilk sit around and make fun of action movies at your 5 star restaurants after seeing whatever “film” that you just attended.  I hope you realize that not all movies are art.  Most are just entertainment.  Sure they can have artistic merits and it takes artistry to put them together, but that is all done for entertainment.  If you start noticing that it is art it detracts from the entertainment.  There is nothing wrong with wanting entertainment or creating it.  What there is something wrong with is a pompous fool such as yourself insulting someone for being a fan of said entertainment.  It would have been more intellectually honest had you simply insulted them for liking comics, but you implied that comic fans are uneducated for simply being a fan of Wolverine.  What, are you Slim Summers guy or something?  Sorry Rob, you may need to ask an uneducated comics fan for an explanation on that joke.  Maybe you are just insulting the fans of the movie “Wolverine”, but you didn’t specify X-Men Origins: Wolverine did you?  Oh yeah, there is that pesky source material that requires reading again.  Rob, Wolverine is a comic book character in the Marvel Universe.  I think it is safe to say that the character of Wolverine has a great deal many more fans than you do.  Does that threaten you?  It should, because you have been irrelevant for years.  You are disconnected from movie audiences and, like most other reviewers, your pompous, “I love artistic films and this one isn’t one” reviews don’t actually inform the public of what movies they want to see. 
 
In closing, enjoy the money and fame you have as a reviewer now.  9 out of 10 movie blogs are reviewing movies better than you.  They are in touch with movie audiences and know how to at least review the source material before saying something stupid like, “The Tharks are Ingenious, although I’m not sure why they need tusks.”  You see that would be a great criticism of the novel back in 1917 (I am sure you were around back then), but not really relevant to a movie based on said 1917 novel.  You are a crotchety old man and have no business reviewing movies outside of your nursing home.
 

3 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Little bitter about his review?
I haven't read it, but I did just get back from seeing the movie. And it was awesome!

The Angry Lurker said...

Man that was nice, you burned that git.....

Budd said...

whoa his name is Roger not Robert. I guess that is how unimportant he is.