Why I Knit

Upon moving to the great white north, I took up an activity that may at first seem very feminine.  I learned to knit.  Anyone that has spent a winter in New England knows that hats and scarves are essential articles of clothing.  Sweaters will add an extra protective layer of warmth.  Also, in the winter, you sit around inside not wanting to go outside (well at least us Southerners do)with the blankets pile on.  You can knit with a blanket on your lap.  Heck, you can knit they blanket that you put on your lap. 

 

I have always been fond of personal gifts.  If you can make something for someone that is functional and looks nice, that gift is a little better for having been handmade instead of store bought.  I mean, you didn’t just work then slap down some cash for that scarf.  You worked slapped down some cash for yarn, then worked some more to turn the yarn into something more than a ball of yarn.  I think they call that sweat equity or something. 

 

The coming zombie apocalypse.  When the zombie epidemic strikes, you are going to need to have survival skills.  Society will collapse and you will have to make do with what you have or can make.  Having a skill will not only provide for your family but will give you something to barter with.  When the zombies come, the north (or south if you are below the equator) is where you should head as zombies will be slower in the colder climes.  Taking that into account, when you move north, you will need warmer clothes. 

 

Did you know that men invented knitting.  It is said to have been invented for the purpose of using for fishing nets.  So knitting has very manly hunting roots.  As recently as World War II, British soldiers would knit in their fox holes.  I bet battle breaking out always caused them to drop a stitch though. 

 

It also wasn’t very hard to learn the basics.  I really sucked at first, but now I can knit while watching TV and make almost no mistakes.  I made a hat and scarf for my brother.  He likes the scarf, but says the hat isn’t that warm.  The scarf took a long time, the hat not much at all.  I haven’t tried sweaters or blankets yet. Or even socks.  But maybe.  I am teaching my daughters too.  We have a little way of remembering how to do knit:  You stab him, choke him, pull him back, and throw him away.  It makes sense if you knit and like violence, honest. 

 

In conclusion, I knit because I am cold, like to give thoughtful handmade gifts, want to survive the zombie apocalypse, think it is manly, and because it wasn’t too hard to learn.  Maybe I should cement my geekdom by making a Jayne hat.