Your Favorite Blogs

Please, in the comments, list your favorite blogs.  I want to see what others are reading and give them a visit. 

Also check out http://budd.vox.com, I may be using it as my new home.

More quarters please...

Pacman growing up. I like racing games now and guitar hero is cool.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Transformers and Spidey 3

Saw both the trailers this week and it looks like they are both going to rock.  I did not think that Topher Grace would make a good Eddie Brock, but based on the teaser, I could have been wrong.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Podiobooks.com

I am listening to some pretty good books right now that are available for free on podiobooks.com. 

Infection-Scott Sigler.  A parasite that kills its host is spreading, but it may have met its match with ex-football player Perry.  Disturbing!

Earthcore-Scott Sigler.  Discovery of platinum leads a group to disturb an ancient evil.  Very violent!

Brave Men Run-Matthew Wayne Seznick.  Think of it like a coming out party for the x-men.  Really good!

Claybourne-  A New Zealand radio sci-fi drama.  Excellent!

If you are listening to anything good or start listening to anything I recommend, let me know. 

Please put recommendations in the comments section.

Lance Used Roids

I don't like Lance Armstrong.  Why? Because I have read his books, that’s why.  Lance is a jerk and is way too arrogant for his own good.

Now onto the drug allegations.  Lance was winning the Tour at a time when a lot of other cyclist, great cyclist, were getting caught blood doping.  Now, there is no doubt in my mind that Lance was a great cyclist and has almost superhuman abilities and is naturally better than most cyclists. 

That said, my doubt is this.  Lance is not better naturally than the second best rider that is doping.  If everyone else was doing drugs and Lance was still winning, then Lance was doping too.  In weightlifting, a sport rife with steroid use, a guy going au natural hasn't got a chance against a juicer.  Same with baseball.  Bonds hits 40 something home runs for most of his career.  Does roids, hits 70.  Comes off roids and this year (almost halfway through the season) and has 11.

Say no to drugs,  say no to Lance. 

Strange counting song

Maybe strange, maybe the cutest thing ever.

My View on:

Gay Marriage. 

States rights issue!

But Budd, how can an issue such as that be relegated to 50 different states where the decisions could all be somewhat different?

Ah, I am so glad you asked.  You see, each state was delegated every power not specifically given to the federal government in the constitution.  This is so each state could cater to the needs of its citizens, be that religiously or by customs. 

State religion?  Doesn't that violate church and state separation and the first amendment?

The constitution does allow for states to have a religion.  The first amendment states that Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of a religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.  It doesn't say state government in there anywhere. And just what does the first half of that clause mean anyway?  Well it can be read two ways.  The wrong way would read that congress can not make laws in respect to the religious establishment.  The right way with historical context is that the British govt(bad guys at the time) had set up the church of England and prosecuted Catholics, Quakers, and others. The founders did not want the same thing to happen here.  So we get that there can not be a church created by congress. 

Where are you going with this, are you saying religion should get same sex marriages banned?

I think the beauty of the system set up by our very intelligent founding fathers allows for people to live in places where there beliefs and customs are respected.  The states, much smaller than the federal govt, Have the power to dictate policies that represent their people.  So people in California are not controlled by the beliefs of those in TN.  Likewise,  California beliefs  would not dictate the policies of TN. 

Shouldn't you be able to live anywhere and still believe and behave in any way you want?

Then why have a government at all!

So what is your personal stance?

I think gay marriage would eventually lead to gay divorce, and we can all agree that divorce is bad!

Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage. 

States rights issue!

But Budd, how can an issue such as that be relegated to 50 different states where the decisions could all be somewhat different?

Ah, I am so glad you asked.  You see, each state was delegated every power not specifically given to the federal government in the constitution.  This is so each state could cater to the needs of its citizens, be that religiously or by customs. 

State religion?  Doesn't that violate church and state separation and the first amendment?

The constitution does allow for states to have a religion.  The first amendment states that Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of a religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.  It doesn't say state government in there anywhere. And just what does the first half of that clause mean anyway?  Well it can be read two ways.  The wrong way would read that congress can not make laws in respect to the religious establishment.  The right way with historical context is that the British govt(bad guys at the time) had set up the church of England and prosecuted Catholics, Quakers, and others. The founders did not want the same thing to happen here.  So we get that there can not be a church created by congress. 

Where are you going with this, are you saying religion should get same sex marriages banned?

I think the beauty of the system set up by our very intelligent founding fathers allows for people to live in places where there beliefs and customs are respected.  The states, much smaller than the federal govt, Have the power to dictate policies that represent their people.  So people in California are not controlled by the beliefs of those in TN.  Likewise,  California beliefs  would not dictate the policies of TN. 

Shouldn't you be able to live anywhere and still believe and behave in any way you want?

Then why have a government at all!

So what is your personal stance?

I think gay marriage would eventually lead to gay divorce, and we can all agree that divorce is bad!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

The awkwardness

A group of us were going out to lunch on Friday.  My friend invited her friend, Tattoo Girl.  I figure this is an opportunity to clear up any awkwardness.  I like to face my problems head on.

So, I step off of the elevator and tattoo girl walks up and joins our pilgrimage to the parking lot.  If she would have looked back at that point, she would have thought that I had a sunburn.  So we get to the parking lot (scene of the crime) and I had forgotten my sunglasses.  This makes it almost impossible and very uncomfortable to drive.  I also am unsure of how to get to the restaurant that we are going to.  My boss has already filled his vehicle and the mutual friend offers to give me and another guy a ride.  Tattoo girl, of course, is in the car as well.

The ride to the restaurant was uncomfortable to say the least.  I am sure the whole lunch would have been that way had it not been for the ice breaker of the crazy lunatic lady. 

The mutual friend did not know the best way to get there either, so tattoo girl was navigating.  We pull onto the almost empty street that the restaurant was sitting on.  Mutual friend was told to try the garage but had pulled past the entrance.  She then decides that the meters are fine and pulls into a meter on left side of the road.  We are laughing as we tell her that it is illegal to park on the opposite side of the road. 

As we are laughing.  A road raging lunatic pulls up and executes a three point turn almost hitting us.  She is spewing curses from her mouth and her head reminded me of mt. st. Helens in 1981.  The paint was starting to peel on the roof over the driver's seat.  Atomic bomb lady rips into a meter spot.  We at this point are sitting in the middle of the road looking back at her and laughing.  She is still going.  I expect her to turn green and rip out of her clothes at any second. 

We pull around the block and go into the garage.  As we are taking our seats in the restaurant, the other vehicle people comment on how angry this lady was when she came barging in and to the to go line.  We see her go back to her car and she is still in a rage.

Anyways, a majority of the awkwardness was avoided with tattoo girl and I have Miss Mt. Vesuvius to thank for it. 

I would appreciate any incites into what made this person so mad as I doubt that it could be any antics from a single female driver.

World Cup Action

Is fantastic!

For Korea to get through to the next round a win would be great.  They could also do it with a tie.   If they tie and France wins, I am pretty sure that the Swiss will get eliminated.  If Korea losses, then France would also have to lose for Korea to advance.  France wants an actual winner in the K-Swiss (get it) game.  If there is a tie and France wins it will come down to goal differential.  France would have to win by at least two goals.  That is only if the K-Swiss game ends in a 0-0 tie. 

For Korea it would be great to get back into the round of sixteen and they want to win this game so they can top their group and don't have to play Brazil in the semifinals.  Adding to the tension is the fact that Both games are happening simultaneously, so none of the teams will know exactly what they have to do to get through.  Togo can not advance regardless of what happens. 

France would love to advance because Zidane didn't really get the send off he deserved(yellow card) in the game against Korea.  It was his second yellow, so he will not play in today's game. 

Go Reds!

"

Thank you,

Budd Black

Booking Through Thursday- Abridging

Booking Through Thursday

We haven't talked about abridged stories for a while. These questions were suggested by Xine.

1. Are abridgements a good introduction to long, boring classics, or a blight on literature? They are blight on literature and a smack in the face to both the author and the editor.


2. If abridgements have their place, what is it? In the bin!


3. Have you read any abridgements, or will you read any? Why or why not? In DVD deleted scenes the director usually says that he cut the scene because it slowed down the movie. The reason they bring the scene back in the DVD is that he feels it has some relevance. People who can't handle an intermission in the explosions and action are retarded and the movie should not be dumbed down just for them. Abridgements are the same way.

Updates

First some updates to my page.
1) I have blog rolling if you do and want to add me, I have the quick add link.
2) If you want me to link you just email me at my email at the bottom on the left hand side.
3) My profile picture is of Wolverine's hand. It is from Origins and shows the claws coming out.
4) Feel free to email me post ideas or comments at my email.

Refunds

This is dedicated to my incredibly thrifty wife.  Her money management has allowed us to do a lot with very little. Our Anniversary was on 06/21.  I love you wife.

I do not buy things unless I know for sure that I want them.  I very seldom need to get a refund for anything I have purchased.  If I do get a refund for something, I usually feel embarrassed for some reason.  I don't know why.  I guess I feel silly for bringing something back after saying I wanted it. 

My wife is the refund queen.  Like all women, she changes her mind constantly.  That item she couldn't live without several hours before has now gone out of style.  I am incapable of buying a gift for any occasion that my wife does not want to return.  Usually the excuse is that the item(s) is to expensive and that we can't afford it.  Sometimes she says that I have horrible taste in things for women.  I got her a non-refundable gift card for Christmas one year, and she used it to buy her parents presents.  But, I digress. 

Our anniversary was this week.  We usually don't get gifts for our anniversary as we tend to go out and do something together instead.  I was thoughtful enough to get a card.  In the spirit of the refund, I wrote my message on a piece of notebook paper and put it inside the card.  I wrote in the note that I did this so she could return the card for a refund.  After reading the note and laughing, she put the note in the card and the card back in the envelope.  It looks as though she is keeping the card.

I don't understand women, and I honestly don't think I want to.  I have given up trying, as it makes my head hurt.  

The Tattoo Incident

So, I am pulling into the parking lot at work.  I take the first spot available on a certain row that I have a tendency to park on.  As I am getting out of my car there is a girl picking up something off the ground.  "The plain!  The Plain!  As the girl bends down her clothing retreats from the waistline revealing a patch of dark ink on her hip.  The casual glance turns into a stare as I look to see what form that ink takes.  It was an Ankh.  The girl stands upright, takes a look back at me (I am no longer staring), and walks towards the building. 

I didn't know this person, but knew someone who is friends with her.  Curiosity had me wondering why the person had an ankh (Egyptian symbol of eternal life) tattoo.  Knowing this friend I told her the story and asked my question.  The friend was completely unaware of this tattoo.  Case closed, right?

Well, curiosity is apparently contagious.  The friend walks up to the girl with the tattoo and asks her straight up about it.  The girl looks back at the friend and says without any hesitation or pause, "Budd!"  She had the feeling that based on our positions in the parking lot that I would have had a view at her ink.  I did get my answer.   She really likes ankh and the concept of eternal life.  She was also impressed that I was able to identify it at the distance and knew what an ankh was. 

I can only look forward to this newfound awkwardness in the elevator rides and random hallway passings of the future.  I can see it now:

Me:  looking away, but unable to keep my eyes from lurking to the spot for a closer look. 
Her:  Pulling down her shirt knowing where my eyes will inevitably fall.
Me:  Finally looking.
Her:  Looking towards me as I am looking.
Me: Looking away, embarrassed.
Her:  "  "  "  "
Uncomfortable silence. . .

Filthy Liar

Yeah the email address I had posted on here for the past couple of weeks was a lie. I have never had a GMAIL account for Alternatereality. This is because I could never just take up one plain of existense. My ego is just too big. My real blog email is alternaterealities@gmail.com.

So, if you emailed anything to that poor guy that can only live in one other plain of existence (I mean, come on, how is he posting in this reality if he lives in an alternate one and only in that alternate one), you may want to stop being mad at me for not replying and retry at the plural address.

If that one is not a lie as well!

(oh crap, mine says nothing about living in this reality, just in alternate ones. Aha, this is actually just an alternate reality to the original reality that none of us have access to).

(double crap, If this is an alternate reality and not the real one, my joke at the guy that has been getting my mail's expense falls flat).

Hope your mind is spinning!

The $500 drying rack

I hate to do dishes.  People throw hate around a lot.  Let me rephrase.  I detest doing dishes.  From the fibers of my soul, every part of me cries in despair when husbandly duty calls upon me to make a sacrifice.  This is why I think dishwashers are the greatest inventions ever made.  And I, like other men, think that you can just put anything in there without so much as a rinse. 

My wife allies with my arch enemy as she doesn't allow me to use the dishwasher.  We don't even buy detergent for it.  My ever frugal wife feels that the dishwasher wastes water and electricity.  Never mind that is saves my sanity and prevents my soul from dying. 

I should correct myself.  We do use the dishwasher, but not to wash dishes with.  We use it to dry the dishes after we wash them.  The dishes are put there to drip dry.  Yes, to drip dry.  Good thing we paid the money for the dishwasher.

Fire Star

Science Fiction has a tendency to come down on the more liberal side of most issues. Fire Star breaks from this tradition and delivers a story with a conservative heroine/agenda. With most science fiction you get a society radically different from our own, but Flynn is able to show you today’s world and make space travel believable.

In this story, private enterprise has invested deeply into a secret project to replace the shuttle. Mariesa Van Huyten and her Van Huyten Industries (VHI) are the driving force behind this project. The corporate world is in it for the profits that are promised from a single stage to orbit vehicle, but Mariesa is driven by her fears.

The cast is supplemented by the test pilots that will take the new ship up as well as students in a school system bought out by VHI for the purposes of improving education. Mariesa has her own purposes of putting hope and the dream of space into the leaders of tomorrow. The sub plots intertwine seamlessly with the main plot. The book ultimately succeeds in showing the reader how space travel could change and getting the reader excited about it at the same time.

This is a very good book. There is mild sexuality and violence, but high school level readers should be fine. Warning: This book is part of a series and may lead you to buy the other books, but it works as a stand alone. This book is a Heinlein Award winner and follows in the tradition of Heinlein works.

Vernon Robinson

This is the good stuff. I would vote for him.

For the first time in my life

I am not a loser. I just won the Onward Ho! (NSFW) TGIF Award.




Thanks Melanie for recognizing me as a worthy reciepiant.

Thanks Grandpa, eventhough you don't know how to use the internet and don't even know what a blog is, for bestowing on me your sense of humor.

Thanks family and friends for being lunatics and giving me more material than I could ever use.

Thanks MTSU. My English degree finally paid off.

Towels

Men and women are different, and towels are a perfect example of this difference.  I hang my towel on the hook right outside of the shower when I am done.  I put it there after I use it so it will be dry and available after my next shower.  Some mornings I turn off the water and it is not there.  The towel fairy (my wife) has come and stolen it away.  When this happens I am forced with three options. 

The first is to shake off like a dog.  This method will give you a headache and isn't nearly as productive for humans as it is for dogs.  I would not recommend it. 

The second option is to yell at the towel fairy to bring me a towel.  Depending on mood or state of consciousness, this could result in death and is not recommended.

The third option is to make a run for it.  This gets water everywhere.  A man's inadequate cleaning skills makes it impossible for him to clean up all the water before what he has done is noticed.  Evidence of the run and/or being caught in the act could also result in death and is not recommended. 

I have told my wife not to remove the towel, and she tells me to check for one before I get in.  I tell her I checked for it by putting it there the previous morning.  She says that is using a dirty towel. 

What!?!, how is that using a dirty towel.  The cleanest moment of the day is when I step forth from the shower.  I am drying clean water off of my clean body with that towel.  Where in this equation is the towel getting dirty.  It is almost like that argument in Pulp Fiction.  I realize that the towel probably needs to be washed when it gets hard to bend, but it is all good up to that point. 

Why must the Towel Fairy force me to torment her by taking my towel?

Picking Books

How do I pick books to read. I mean, there are lots of books out there, so how do I know which one I will pick up and read. First, I usually go for an Author that I have enjoyed or a book that was recommended by someone whom I trust on these matters. But, sometimes I just like to pick something up off the shelves. Below is my criteria for doing so.

1. Go to the sci-fi section
2. Wade through fantasy books to the few actual sci fi books
3. Sift out titles with really bad titles.* (if you can't write a title, you can't write a book)
4. Look for one of the following on the cover. a)Guy with big futuristic gun b)really good looking girl (in peril is a bonus) c) a cool looking spaceship/space station/planet d)an alien city.

*title can be overlooked if the cover art is contains two or more of step 4.

Use this method for more enjoyable reading!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Picking Books

Gabe at Penny Arcade inspired this thought.

How do I pick books to read. I mean, there are lots of books out there, so how do I know which one I will pick up and read. First, I usually go for an Author that I have enjoyed or a book that was recommended by someone whom I trust on these matters. But, sometimes I just like to pick something up off the shelves. Below is my criteria for doing so.

1. Go to the sci-fi section
2. Wade through fantasy books to the few actual sci fi books
3. Sift out titles with really bad titles.* (if you can't write a title, you can't write a book)
4. Look for one of the following on the cover. a)Guy with big futuristic gun b)really good looking girl (in peril is a bonus) c) a cool looking spaceship/space station/planet d)an alien city.

*title can be overlooked if the cover art is contains two or more of step 4.

Use this method for more enjoyable reading!

Lance Used Roids

I don't like Lance Armstrong.  Why? Because I have read his books, that’s why.  Lance is a jerk and is way too arrogant for his own good.

Now onto the drug allegations.  Lance was winning the Tour at a time when a lot of other cyclist, great cyclist, were getting caught blood doping.  Now, there is no doubt in my mind that Lance was a great cyclist and has almost superhuman abilities and is naturally better than most cyclists. 

That said, my doubt is this.  Lance is not better naturally than the second best rider that is doping.  If everyone else was doing drugs and Lance was still winning, then Lance was doping too.  In weightlifting, a sport rife with steroid use, a guy going au natural hasn't got a chance against a juicer.  Same with baseball.  Bonds hits 40 something home runs for most of his career.  Does roids, hits 70.  Comes off roids and this year (almost halfway through the season) and has 11.

Say no to drugs,  say no to Lance. 

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Flag Day

Why isn't Flag Day a bigger holiday.  It should be and it is our faults that it is not.  We don't party and celebrate like we could. 

Think about it.  If everyone went out to get drunk on Flag Day, then employers would start to notice.  If there were parades scheduled for the day, certain cities and towns would shut down to take part. 

We pledge allegiance to the flag yet let Flag Day pass by without planting a single flag seed.

No More Middle Class

TV shows, and in larger part dramas, show very few middle class families.  Comedies slip in their occasional poor family such as Rosanne, The Simpsons, Married with Children, and, most recently, My Name is Earl.  The middle class family is strangely missing.  

My first thought on this is that TV is a place for fantasies.  A place to escape everyday life.  Middle class life is boring and wouldn't make a good comedy.  Middle class people's lives don't lend themselves to drama either.  In comedy, the poor use their poverty as a comic aid.  The situations are increased by the poverty.  "Jim is taking Sue to the prom, where will he get the money and will he pick her up on his bicycle."  Dramas are almost exclusively written with rich characters.  You have to have money to have the free time to have affairs with 7 different weapon at the same time, and the thought of a character losing everything and becoming *gasp* middle class is a source of tension. 

I know what you are thinking.  "Things happen to middle class families too." Sure they do!  Fathers have affairs, beat their wives, and daughters get pregnant.  This doesn't work as drama though.  The viewer can't console themselves with the fact that Mary Beth can leave John after he pushed her down the stairs, because Mary Beth would cease being middle class and become poor.  That is not drama, it is depressing. 

Comedy will not work on middle class the same way it does on the poor.  When the poor are out of money it causes a situation.  The middle class can just cancel cable or they may have to drop a magazine subscription.  

So in conclusion middle class people aren't funny and the beating of spouses and parents living double lives as drug addicts is a little to hard edged for the dramas.  Middle class families would make good horror movie families though and usually do.  Most serial killers are from the middle class after all.  In TV the rich will just get richer, the poor will stay at a comfortable level of poverty for the viewers, and the middle class will fade away.

Mary and Nick are responsible for spawning this topic into my head.

Slip and Slide

Do you remember slip and slides when you were a kid?  I used to always want one, but my family was poor.  Even if we could have afforded the slip and slide the water to use such a thing would have sent us over the edge.  Luck and creativity were on the side of me and my brother one spring day.

I was in the 6th grade at the time.  If you know anything about Tennessee in the spring, you know it was raining.  My brother and I were at one of my friends houses when we noticed that his yard was saturated with water.  The light bulbs went off in our heads simultaneously.  We rushed home as fast as we could, we had the forethought to not use even mildly good clothes for such an experiment, and changed our clothes.  Rushed out of the house before anyone had known we were there and met our friend at his door.  For the next hour or so, we were slipping and a sliding without a care in the world.  When our friend had to go in, we headed home as proud as we could be. 

Our mom was not that thrilled with our activities of the day.  You see, my friends house had some grass but it was mostly dirt.  In the rain that dirt turned to mud.  By the very nature of slip and slide movements, said dirt was packed into our clothes.  I explained to her that we were wearing old clothes and that we didn't mess up anything nice, but she said she didn't care what clothes we were wearing.  She proceeded to tell us that we would not be coming in the house like that.  We were told to strip naked out in the rain while our mom was spraying us with the hose. This was done in the front yard, in front of God and everybody else.  While the end result was embarrassing and I am sure painful (I don't remember getting spanked, but knowing my mom. . .), I don't regret it for an instant.  One of the best times I have had in my life.   

Old Blog Posts

I usually only post Monday-Friday, but if you find yourself wanting to
read more. you can go over to my old dead blog at
My old Modblog page. I may even have some original posts
on my myspace page My Myspace page (I feel so dirty for having one). Or if you wanna
go really old school you can check out
Buddsworld.

Which Horror Killer am I?

You scored as Jigsaw. You are Jigsaw. You dont enjoy killing people at all. You instead love to see how far people will go to live. However if it ends in a bloody death, you still sleep with a smile on your face. You are intelligent, and know how to outwit just about anyone. And that spells bad news for anyone who falls into your games of death and torture.

Jigsaw

90%

Letter to the Editor

In an effort to out state employees that take excessive overtime, the Tennessean (Gannett Press) has put a searchable database up on their website of peoples salaries and what they actually took home last year.  This made me very angry.  So, I turned green, swelled up, my pants (now capris) turned purple.   I flexed my intellectual muscle and wrote the following letter to the editor.

I really must object to the listing on your website stating the amounts of money that state employees make.  I understand the public has a right to know how tax dollars are spent or misspent as the case may be.  But, as a state employee that gets lower pay than my counterparts in every other state, I see my rights as an individual citizen have been violated. 

In the search for people who abuse overtime and your decision to out them, you have punished people who are not guilty of taking advantage of the system.  Your reporting would have been just as effective had you not published the persons name except in the most serious offenses.

I do not tell people how much I make because it is none of their business.  The Tennessean, in their much better judgment, decided to just go ahead and tell people for me. 

I realize that as a state employee my pay is public record and anyone can obtain this information.  In the past this was always protected by the effort that it took to do so.  The Tennessean has made it accessible online for anyone, not just the citizens of the state of Tennessee, to see.

This is irresponsible journalism.

Al-Zarqawi is Dead

This could be a very big victory. We just have to use every bit of intelligence we have and make a massive strike on the insurgents immediately, while they are regrouping. But, we will lallygag around and play up the fact that we killed him and adjust strategies until the opportunity is gone. The Iraqi army and police should be involved in the follow-up strikes as to make some heroes out of local guys and motivate the masses. But, we won't do anything and if we did, we will do it alone.

As for soldiers murdering civilians, some people search out jobs in the military because they are sick and it gives them the opportunity to act out on their sickness. This is not an American problem. It happens around the world. Military courts are especially hard on these people. If someone gets off, it is usually because they are innocent. The military hates bad PR from crimes. Everyone forgets that it was a military investigation into Abu Graib that revealed the "torture" there.

Let's not stereotype our soldiers into blood thirsty murderers, please.

Marzipan

A co-worker of mine gave me a subject to write about. Marzipan. Just the one word.

Marzopan is a type of sugar and almond mix that is shaped and sold as treats or cake decorations. There is the urban legend about a lady that makes tiny babies out of Marzipan.

Why are there not more things made out of this confection. It would be like crack for kids. You could form it and paint it in popular shapes. Marzipan power rangers, ninja turtles, pokemon, trollz, or anything else a child desires. Movies could use it as marketing tools. Cars could have all the different vehicles. You could play with them and then eat them.

The best thing is that the ingredients are cheap. They could put four figurines per pack about the size of candy bar and sell it for around a dollar. Money would roll in. This is done already for some cakes and you know every kid wants the piece with the sugary soccer ball/flower/Mickey Mouse face.

I will stop the post here. I have to go form some molds and get some sugar. You will see me this fall at corners in front of schools peddling my wares. The first one will be free. Eventually I plan on having an army of children who can infiltrate the school walls.

Thanks for the topic King Richard!

This, I believe.

The following opinion is satire. I only believe in violence a little bit. It does have some valid points, and I hope you are educated as well as entertained. This I believe is a radio essay series that airs on NPR (National Public Radio) on Mondays.

This, I Believe

Robert Heinlein made a point in Starship Troopers. One of the characters said that violence doesn’t solve anything, and the war torn veteran asks what the founding fathers of Hiroshima would say about that. Violence has solved quite a few problems in the history of man and that is why I believe in violence.

People may say that I am wrong and give examples of the Vietnam and Iraqi war as examples that violence only exasperates problems and gets more people killed. These people do not understand violence. It was a lack of violence in each of these conflicts that caused problems. When you kill a soldier and leave his wife and child alive you make two new soldiers. He probably had brothers and parents as well. By just killing the one person you have directly created more opposition. Violence is frowned upon for some reason and it was discouraged in both conflicts. It led us to a road of destruction that a well placed nuke would have solved for the world.

Wars are not the only problem solved by violence. Crime would be well deterred with violence against criminals. The criminal are already using violence against us, and honestly, if one party is being violent and the other party is not, who will win out in the end? I believe that if a man rapes my child, that man should die. I will kill him myself. You may ask how you know he is really guilty. This again can be solved with violence. If you are unsure who is guilty, you just keep shooting suspects and you are bound to be right eventually.

Sure there is some collateral damage. That collateral damage is population reduction. Yet another problem solved with violence. What if we would have been violent to everyone with AIDS 20 years ago? Just drug them out in a field and shot them? The AIDS epidemic would not have become wide spread and Ryan White could be a successful doctor, saving lives right this moment.

Humans think violence is mean and don’t want to be mean, yet they perpetuate violence everyday and fight for the right to do so. Abortion is violence on an unborn fetus. Euthanasia is violence towards old people who we no longer see as productive members of society. Both of these parties are innocent and violence towards them is celebrated as a choice.

I believe in lesser forms of violence as well. Spankings are needed to teach a pavlovian response against being bad. My own mother spanked me as a child and I credit those spankings for me being such a good person. Yes, my mother had the Dr. Spock book, but was angered when she realized it was about being non-violent to your children and not about Star Trek. This was the same book she would throw at me when she was to tired/lazy to get up and kick my butt for some wrong deed. Also, it is a rare phenomenon that if you smack an idiot he will shut up. It is said that violence only begets violence. This is not true. If you hit someone hard enough, they will lie down and cry instead of hitting you back. That or run away.

I believe in being able to watch the coyote be pummeled by an anvil. I believe kids should be allowed to play with toy guns and even encouraged to do so (training). I believe that I should be able to watch a splatter flick with out it grossing me out. I believe that if everyone carried guns, most crimes would not be committed. I don’t care about the rest of the world, violence is the American way. This. . . I believe.

The Vortex of Death

This weekend the YMCA had a pool party and they invited non-members with a post card. It was free, so my cheap (read poor) family showed up. Apparently so did every other family in about a twenty mile radius. It was not so much swimming as it was wading in water trying not to bump into each other.

The Y has a waterslide set up on one side and the section is roped off. Only one person on the slide at a time and you have to exit the pool upon being ejected from the slide. This slide looks like a McDonalds playland and automatically discourages adults because the only way to get up is to crawl and climb. Being a kid at heart, this did not so much stop me as it encouraged me. After waiting in line for an overly cautious amount of time, I was able to make my assent to the top of the twenty foot slide.

Previous waterslide experience has prepared me for the fact that waterslides at pools generally suck. To get a good slide you have to go to a water park and pay over inflated (pun) prices. So, when I got to the top and saw that there was no bar for my to slingshot myself down the slide for an added burst of speed, my heart despaired. I sat down and grabbed the sides and slid into surprise.

The kids in front of me were either slowing themselves down or the t-shirts they were wearing to protect themselves from the sun of the indoor pool were slowing them down. For whatever reason, I was not expecting warp 9 and a 5G pull on this tiny YMCA slide. As I am breaking the sound barrier and forcing all the water from the pool with my sonic boom, I am shocked into utter silence. As I reach the end of the slide I see daylight in time to realize that I am still going sideways, and sure enough I am launched off the side of the slide and into the air, landing halfway between the slide and the ropes protecting the amazed on lookers. I heard Jay say "fly fat@$$, fly!

First thought after doing it was "I gotta do that again!" It was still cool but not as cool as it was when I wasn't expecting to be shot in a tube through the bowels of the Earth and come out screaming "and I'll form the head!" My second thought was that I had to get my wife on that thing and not tell her what to expect. That, my friends, was worth the price of admission, had there been one.

I am Ice. . . Man (snaps teeth together)

You scored as Iceman. Iceman is a very powerful but volitile X-man. His ego and reluctance to follow orders means that he often clashes with Cyclops. Despite being immature sometimes, he's very popular with the ladies and is an extremely powerful X-Man. Powers: Can lower the temperature in areas around him. Basically, he has a near limitless ability to freeze things and make massive amounts of ice. Iceman 80% Nightcrawler 75% Wolverine 70% Emma Frost 70% Colossus 60% Beast 55% Rogue 50% Gambit 50% Cyclops 50% Jean Grey 35% Storm 35% Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Book Review: The Joy Luck Club

Amy Tan creates a small short plot that takes up about 10-20 pages.  The rest of the book is getting the reader very intimate with the characters and the situation of adapting to American life. 

The characters of this book are real.  The situations are also real.  Anyone close to an Asian-American can attest to these types of stories.  Tan does a great job of showing how the children grow up American and are unable/unwilling to relate to their parents.  Teenage rebellion takes on new meaning when you are also rebelling against your parents culture.    Tan does not paint china with elaborate imagery, but paints it in the readers mind with characters and actions that are foreign to western minds.  The story is told in a non-linear method that adds to this foreign feel. 

I would recommend this book to everyone.  There is very little suggestive or violent content.  Amy Tan deserves the praise that she has received for this book.